Time Out Exercise - Anger Paradigm
Alyce LaViolette, 1995
Event/Situation -> Perception -> Arousal -> Reaction —>
(How you saw it) (Body signals) (Less Angry)
- Does your stomach churn or get in a knot, do your shoulders tighten, does your heart beat faster, do you feel hot, does your face burn, does your jaw clench?
- When you recognize your signal (fuse), you can leave the situation physically and/or mentally.
- If the energy is big, leave and do a non-aggressive physical cool down (e.g. active walking, jogging, lifting weights, isometrics, dancing, shooting baskets, riding a bike).
- As you cool down physically, begin a cognitive cool down. Practice thinking differently. Practice positive self talk. You might say, "I don't want to hurt or scare anybody. I want to solve a problem." Or "I want to cool off." I don't want to feel bad about when I do - I don't want to feel guilty. I want to handle things better."
- Go back to your perception (how you see it) and look at alternate ways of seeing the situation. This is a good time to empathize and not to blame.
- Work on problem solving - doesn't have to mean confrontation. Remember, anything you want to get good at, you have to work on improving. Practice, practice and practice. You will develop a new way of thinking.
- Go back to person (if you still feel you need to) and work on solution.